How is it that we find ourselves entangled in battles with others? Why do we allow others to immerse us in to their web of misery? I do not have the exact answers to the direct questions above. These questions are personal and you need to ask yourself if the battle is worth your time.
Battles are distractions. Most are a waste of time. Generally the person taunting you has nothing better to do with their time. They attempt to invoke a rise out of you. Often we take the bait. When we do, the instigator wins. Then another questions arises. Why would you allow someone to gain so much power over you and hijack your precious time?
If you were to accept every battle that came your way you would be exhausted. Perhaps you are feeling defeated in certain areas of your life. Ponder if you are taking on too much of other people’s tainted issues. You may not know you are fighting battles, because you are so inclined putting on your boxing gloves.
We are meant to be challenged and fight battles. However, when it monopolizes your time, energy, or consumes your thoughts… guess what? You have already lost the fight. Just think if you chose your battles wisely you may have more time on your hands. You may have more energy to exercise. You may have more time for your family. You may have more clarity on the job. Do not squander your time on people who are attempting to drag you down for their own gratification. You may think this a harsh statement. The reality is, people hurt other people because they are hurting. They love to fight battles for pure self-edification.
Of course, we will have to take on some battles. How do you decipher which one to fight and what to let go? Often this will depend on life experience. If something of familiarity crosses you path you may decide to pass and move forward. Naturally, new experiences will present themselves. A few questions to ask yourself prior to taking something on with another person: Are there any rewards? Is it worth engaging in such a battle? Is the fight furthering me toward a goal? Am I fighting the battle to prove a point? Or, are you seeking revenge because they hurt you? Are you trying to prove yourself to another person? Truthfully, these are distractions and a waste of your time. You are worth more than whatever kind of dysfunction someone is trying to serve up to you.
An intentional instigator is hurting, lonely, and desperate for attention. He/she will do whatever it takes to render you miserable. The applicable adage, “Misery loves company.”
You have a choice to engage in juvenile endeavors or not. Save your time and energy for the battles that matter. Life is short. Don’t give your time away to a person who gains pleasure from your misfortune. Take control, move on, and surround yourself with positive influences.
Bronwyn Ison is the owner of Evolve Yoga. www.e-volveyoga.com